Trump: Another Red Scare
No, I’m not talking about Trump’s lame rants about the Democrats being communists, which is understandable in Trump’s case because his mentor, disbarred mob attorney Roy Cohn, later worked for similarly disgraced Senator Joe McCarthy as a communist witch-hunter; rather, I’m talking about Trump’s corrosive interference in the upcoming FIFA World Cup match between the United Snakes and Belgium. In the United State’s last game, a high-scoring US team player, Folarin Balogun, was issued a “Red Card” suspension for a deliberate foul, a violation that implies extremely unsportsmanlike conduct. For non-soccer fans, a Red Card violation comes with a one year suspension from the sport. Not surprisingly, Mr. Trump’s supernatural ability to immediately sense bad behavior anywhere in the world triggered his knee-jerk impulse to reward said behavior: He immediately picked up a phone to call one of the few men on the planet as corrupt as himself, FIFA president Gianni Infantino.
Corruption at the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) is legendary and Mr. Infantino is an acknowledged master; yet all he needed to do to stage a massive, controversial multi-billion dollar World Cup series in the United States was to invent a bullshit “Peace Prize” to flatter the Orange Bloviator. For this minimal expenditure, Mr. Infantino probably received carte blanche permission and government support for inventing new, questionable cash streams for FIFA. It’s worth noting that Mr. Infantino’s World Cup fundamentally changes the nature of the game, stopping play every fifteen minutes for advertising breaks. He also increased the number of games by 16 to include a number of mediocre teams in the contest – teams that wouldn’t normally qualify for entry. The fans are unhappy with Mr. Infantino for the highest ticket, parking, and accommodation prices of all time, but considering the billions FIFA rakes in, a few minutes of Donald Trump’s butthole on his tongue probably seemed a small price to pay …until now. Infantino must realize by now that since all Trump got out of the bargain, ostensibly, was an ego massage (assuming the long-shot that there were no laundered bitcoin bribes), it was inevitable that Trump would come back to the trough to wallow again: He now expects Mr. Infantino to massage his ego on demand for life; but for Gianni Infantino, this is probably not a problem. The crooked president of one of the most corrupt organizations on the planet simply made an exception to the rules of the game for another dissolute president of another corrupt organization. Too bad Jeffrey Epstein isn’t alive to fly them to his island.