Exploding Heads Up: If Musk’s melon blows, the Twitter goes!

Today Mr. Musk brays loudly and lame, rubber crutch tips on fire as he sweeps majestically across the night sky in a classic crash-and-burn configuration. I am told that most psychologists recommend setting the Ego Command and Control (EC&C) at an internal pressure of 32-34 pounds per square inch (psi); however, after being snubbed by Vladimir Putin in Ukraine and slammed by Donald Trump in the news media at large, Mr. Musk now finds himself being almost universally snubbed by thinking men and women everywhere. You can imagine that his giant noggin must be pressurized up into the EC&C red zone right about now at 85-90 psi …so why don’t the rocket scientists at Space-X tell him before his head explodes? Maybe they aren’t telling him as a mean-spirited joke, like watching in silence as an unsuspecting pedestrian slips on a banana peel. If they already know his head is going to blow but simply aren’t telling him …well, that’s a very dangerous game, my friends, and one that could get someone splattered with what passes for Mr. Musk’s brains.

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5600° Kelvin: Blazing White Privilege

White privilege poster girl Taylor Swift claims she isn’t making enough money from Ticketmaster, so I’m searching for my bow instrument; you know, the one that claimed to be the world’s tiniest violin when I bought it? Well, Boo…hoo…hoo… Poor little bazillionaire Taylor. Cheer up, little Taylor! While our nation now faces many real and pressing existential questions about the future of our civilization, we can all  rest easy knowing that sitting Senator Amy Klobuchar has enough free time in her busy schedule to launch a full Senate Investigation of Ticketmaster to find out why they are being so mean to a poor little white girl. If the investigation doesn’t pan out, at least we know what music Senator Amy listens to while she is supposed to be attending to our nation’s most important issues, but isn’t. For the record, I recall how close this craven opportunist came to a presidential nomination shortly after running the Minnesota clown car over Al Franken. She didn’t even come close to the nomination, you say? …well, that’s still way too close for my taste. While I prefer not to have her as my President, I am nonetheless grateful for what she’s taught us about America:

As long as there is even a single, solitary rich, privileged corporate media property like Ms Swift out there snivelling about how unfair life has been to them, Global Warming can just damn well wait …right President Klobuchar?

 

Beach Naked In The Island Moonlight

I remember running naked with a dark-skinned island beauty on a moonlit beach. We laughed and talked for hours. Later, as we began to slowly surface from our loving embrace, a cool breeze wafted the lace curtains across our perspiration-soaked sheets; the salt air smelled of the sea, coconut palms and exotic body lotions, like her. She was softly singing “Only One” in my ear. Transfixed, I struggled to open my eyes, caress her face …and then, poof! Here I am back in the world of greasy Trump farts and Russian killers, corporate news, advertising media, and pure propaganda. It’s good to be back in time for the mid-term elections!

Vote like Your Democracy Depends On It!