The First Thing:  Wildfires

The first thing to know about fire is that you can fall into a burning ring of it and go down, down, down, while the flames rise higher.

A much more important thing to know about elemental fire, though, is that another global warming event millions of years ago also baked the planet dry shortly before wildfires destroyed almost all of the vegetation on the planet .  The dinosaurs literally bit the dust as the planet reverted to tabula rasa for a few million years …and here we go again!

But have we learned anything?

Well, we learned that global warming is the mechanism preceding an ice age. Global warming dilutes our highly ionized ocean waters with melting ice, effectively de-ionizing (desalinating) the  oceans  and causing the heat transfer to the Humboldt Current, which transfers heat from the equator to the Americas and Poles simply crashes and stops working. When the ocean currents stop  circulating warm water at the surface and recirculating deep, cold water back to the equator, the land masses start to bake.  As the Earth’s surface bakes, the Jet Stream stops working. Without the ocean currents and the Jet Stream to regulate temperatures  …we’re screwed!

Not to worry, though! Technology and science will save us!  If any of this ever comes to pass, you may be able to fly to Mars with Elon Musk and colonize a new world!  If you can afford it, you can even rent a pair of “Fuckerbergs” on the flight (Fuckerberg is a disparaging slang term for Metaverse-like Geek-goggles that hold you upside-down while Mr. Fuckerberg shakes the cryptocurrency out of your pants pockets  …then sends your personal data to Russia!

If I don’t see you before there, enjoy colonizing “Elonica!”