No-Vax Jock-of-Itch: Million Dollar Forearm, 50-Cent Brain
Like everyone else who tried to follow the news this week, I was subjected to the “slow news day” bombardment of stories about a tennis star with passport issues over his coronavirus vaccination status …stories I didn’t give a damn about. With a potential war with Russia brewing in Europe, a Civil War II brewing here at home, the new “Robber Barons of Technology” squeezing America in a choke hold of manufactured inflation, and a major change coming to a renegade Supreme Court no longer interested in hearing arguments …well, this is just what we need right now: The news media carpet-bombing us with a lame story about a spoiled millionaire who wanted what he wanted when he wanted it and was told “No.” Spoiler Alert: He threw a third-grade tantrum. Wow …built-in plot twist, eh?. I was reminded of some of the great tennis stars of yesteryear and began to imagine what their cartoon “thought bubbles” would say if they heard this:
“What a flaming, four-alarm jackass,” John McEnroe was thinking.
Ilie Nastese was standing with a tennis racket, looking at Novax and thinking “What a DICK!”
“He’s a spoiled infant trapped in a grown millionaire’s body, so why isn’t his ego strapped to a giant rocket ship somewhere?” the more intellectual Jimmy Connors was thinking.
It wasn’t just tennis players thinking these things, either. Aaron Rogers, another sports figure with similar problems, is standing in a cartoon frame holding a football he obviously wishes were a tennis racket. “Probably lied about his vaccination status,” he muses.
Judging from the imaginary comments of past tennis champions running through my mind as I write this, the concensus of the tennis “Bad Boy” community of my cartoons is that a fist-pumping sociopath and all-around horse’s dick, “No-Vax” Chokemebitch, actually has no concept of social responsibility whatsoever. Seeing his parents on the news projecting the same aggressive, ignorant, righteous indignation confirms that they didn’t teach their son anything about life beyond holding a tennis racket …well, that and mouth-breathing.